My first Driving Lesson

The board read, “Full to Final Driving School”. I entered, “Hello Sir”, “You!! I’ve seen you somewhere. Where, I don’t remember. Yes, You are the one, who used to follow our car with your bike, when that, what her name was…”, “Simran??” Oh fish, this reflex action screws me every time. “Yes, when that Simran was taking driving lessons.” Now I was on back foot, “Amm… Sir, that was not me. Actually my grandma used to tell me that, there are seven people with similar faces in this world, you have some misunderstanding.”

“OK!! So you want to learn to drive a car, hmm.” “Yes sir”, I said cheerfully, but I didn’t know that this is for the last time in the day when I am smiling. “Get into the car”, he ordered, I saw here and there and saw a Kandam Maruti 800, ‘so this is what he calls a car’, I thought. The moment I got in it, I started feeling claustrophobic.

He showed me the Steering wheel, (A) Escalator (Accelerator), (B) Birek (Brake), (C) Kiluch (Clutch) and Giyar (Gear). Then he said “Ok, today I’m gonna give you only A and B but, neither C nor Giyar and you have to operate the steering wheel as well.” All of a sudden he seemed to be the bride’s father of a cheap Hindi movie cribbing for the over demanded dowry and saying, “I’ll give you T.V. not fridge, Bed not dressing table, Scooter not Car and bla bla bla…”.

We started off well on that self accelerated vehicle (It seemed to me on first day), “Mod par horan (Horn) bajayengay, mudte samay haath dikhayengay…”, ‘so much emphasize on the gay while ending the sentence hun…??’, I thought.

Well, this real time driving experience in Indore gives you great confidence and judgment of the road which no simulator can teach you, I bet. How?? Through the narrow lanes, when you try to speed up, suddenly a cow which was standing on the footpath comes in front of you and shakes its tail, a dog sleeping in the mid of the road on listening to your horn’s sound stares at you and dozes, some bikers cross you waving with high speeds, some sabzi wala walks in front of you with his thelaagaadi and gives you such a look, and if not anything then the pedestrians walking amidst the lane with mobile phones or an auto rikshaw coming wrong side suddenly forces you to stand up on the brake pedal… and if the luck is on your side and you have an empty road to drive, then though you need to be skilled enough to miss the open man holes (Chambers) and to keep your car on the partial road available.

In between he was continuously telling me not to shake the steering wheel unnecessarily as I had seen actors doing in movies and suddenly he shook it vigorously and the car turned into a roller coaster for a while and a biker in left and a scooterist in right behind us lost their tracks completely. But, I should admit that, the instructor was as cool as an ice cube; coz he wasn’t moved by an inch at instances when I tried to give him heart attacks, such as taking the car so close to the divider or giving the pigs run for their lives and what not. Even once when I pressed the accelerator to an extreme he just gave me a dead cold look and said,"Shoemaker nahi banna hai apne ko.", "You mean Schumacher??", I confirmed.

Well! That was the first day, but after 4 days, now I am one of his quickest learners and so I can say that, “sometimes things are not that tough which you think them of being…”

City under Threat - Demystified

Asia Cup cricket final- A disgusting Rameez was laughing at the pathetic batting display of Indian Tigers on a FLAT TRACK. Even Bush won't get this much excited after catching Laden, alive. "I need some fresh air.", I said and went for a night walk. I don't know what I was thinking about rather whom, suddenly a zooming sound attracted my attention and I turned around just to find a car rushing towards me in full speed. The driver hardly managed to miss me and lost his control and hit a tree guard on the footpath.

A constable appeared from nowhere and he along with me pulled the car back and helped the driver let out of that car. "Don't you people know it's illegal to wander in curfew zone?? You youngsters don't understand anything, you people just do anything for the sake of adventure. " said the constable in a frustrated manner. I showed him my ID proof, while the driver, Ali, told him that he was coming from railway station after dropping his grandma and was speeding towards home to avoid the problems due to curfew and gave him his platform ticket as a proof.
The constable was now staring at us. At this point we were in a kashmakash and he was having kash pe kash and as his partner was sleeping big time, he was in a mood to chat and we were not in a hurry either..."Do you think that this communal conflict in indore has to do anything with the allotment of land of Amarnath Shrine board??" but, Baaltis don't answer, I and Ali were just looking towards each other. "No, obviously not", he broke the silence and continued," These are the preplanned political stints, the dirty vote bank politics."

"Two small groups, political parties which have some problems in between them are always eyed towards such occasions, just to take their personal revenge and give these disputes the colour of communal disputes, otherwise who the hell keeps krates full of stones in mosques or temples or their houses?? No one does.". We were shaking our heads, as we've learnt in MBA preparatory institutes that How to nod while listening.

"These people are genius by birth, one of the groups holds orange flags and the other green flags. One group's equipped with swords, knives while the other with small explosives and they set a display in which some buildings, shops, houses are burnt, a few people lose their lives, some get injured just for the satisfaction of egos of these party heads, but who suffers in all this??" Me and Ali had big question marks in our eyes. "The common man." He replied," and off course we do. Do you think that, we enjoy laathi charge?? No!! we don't. In a city like Indore, where Collector, SP, DGP everyone's newly came in, it becomes a really tough task to be carried out to bring things to normal while the third party tries to catch the attention by their statements regarding entropy in the city during their counterparts' rule. What's wrong in that if the some Police authority says that, even god can not handle these situations."

The conversation was getting hotter and hotter but, the electronic media brought some light moments for a change as he said," These 24*7 news reporters are no less than comedians, they go to an old lady, who's already in a very big problem that how would she reach her home as there's no public conveyance and ask her, 'Mataji aap curfew me fas gayi hain,kaisa lag raha hai aapko??', They go to some lodge where people haven't had any meal for 2 days due to bandh and all, and ask them, 'Bhaaisab kaisa lag raha hai aapko, aapne 2 din se kuchh nahi khaya hai, bahar nahi nikle hain?? Paani to aata hai na anadar?', Boss you have the press card, Help them. No, 'Ye rajwada bada soona lag raha hai, dekhiye ise'; bloody jokers, curfew me log yahan party manane aayenge kya? " Suddenly his eyes became moist and said "Jo batana hai wo to batate nahi hain ye, that a Hindu family gave shelter to a Muslim in their home during these riots. 2 Jainees were taken through the sensitive area safely in a muslim's car. No these news aren't permitted by their fathers as they don't want to show the real bonding between people here."

Suddenly Ali's phone rang..."Haan abbu, aa raha hu.",He said and then the constable said, "Yes, you both should leave now, as it' already too late and our headsaab will be on a round any time. Take care."

Both of us went on our own ways... Through out the way I was thinking, that Why, Why people don't understand this very basic thing that they are just being used, while the big players play the dirty game and yet safely travel through their VIP cars and still not bothering about the people but their votes, not about the actual number of casualties but the figures to be quoted in their speeches and not... what Rafa beat Fedrer, Ohh fish, how's that possible ?? Well, life doesn't stop, it carries on...